Bollocking Time

(Tune: Mull of Kintyre)

Bollocking time, I’m pissed rolling in from

The pub at half nine

My dinner’s gone cold and it’s

Bollocking time

Frost in my face as I walk through the door

What can I say that you’ve not heard before?

Surely you know that it isn’t a crime

I’ve had one little drink and it’s bollocking time

Give me a moment and let me explain

Just as I passed there it started to rain

You’re not convinced and it looks as if I’m

In the doghouse again and it’s bollocking time

Don’t waste my food, that’s a terrible sin

Scraping my dinner right into the bin

Kindly stop shouting, the kids will think I’m

Not the boss around here if it’s bollocking time

You’ve had your say and I wish you’d desist

Taking advantage of me when I’m pissed

Show some respect for a man in his prime

‘Cause it just isn’t fair that it’s bollocking time

I’ve said I’m sorry, that’s all I can do

Why can’t you see it from my point of view

Have some tequila, or vodka and lime

And you’ll see there’s no reason for bollocking time