King Davey (another one for the kids)

King Davey had a navy and an army of his own
And somebody to fan him as he sat upon his throne
A typist typing letters, a reader reading mail
A jewel-encrusted sunshine lamp, to stop him looking pale

The doctors came a-running if he ever gave a sneeze
In church he knelt on pillows, just in case he bruised his knees
His crown was really pretty and it shone without a speck
And yet it wasn't heavy, so it wouldn't strain his neck

A servant stirred his porridge, another drove his car
(King Davey really wasn't used to walking very far)
To help him get to sleep at night, cathedral choirs would sing
Apart from breathing in and out, he hardly did a thing

Now, you may think King Davey was the happiest of men
But if you really knew him well, you'd have to think again
He'd look out of his window at the children of the town
He'd hear their merry laughter, see them running, falling down

They didn't seem to worry if they had a bump or two
And as for getting dirty, did they panic? No. Would you?
So shortly after Easter, on a warm and sunny day
Without a word of warning, Good King Davey ran away

He found some grubby gardening clothes inside the gardeners' shed
He ripped off all his royal robes and put these on instead
Perhaps he wouldn't prosper, but he really meant to try
One last look at the Palace, then he waved it all goodbye

Then, whistling a merry tune, he strode towards the sun
He hardly dared believe his big adventure had begun
But...
In shoes that let in gravel, smelly clothes that didn't fit
He soon felt hot and tired, but there was nowhere he could sit

His tummy started rumbling. It was nearly time for tea.
Of course, he had no money (kings don't carry it, you see)
He tried to do some begging but it really didn't pay
For people took one look at him then quickly walked away

Or else they looked right through him, made believe he wasn't there
King Davey started crying, but they simply didn't care
They wouldn't give him money, wouldn't talk to him at all
Until he met a little boy who said his name was Paul

"Hello, Your Royal Majesty, what brings you out this far
Without your long red carpet and your great big shiny car?
You're looking really tuckered out. Why don't you come with me?
I'm sure my Mum would gladly set another place for tea...

"Sure, come and put your feet up, have a rest from all your labours
It's only round the corner, and we've very quiet neighbours!"
King Davey was astounded: "Keep it down! I'm on the run!
But first of all, please tell me, how'd you recognise me, son?"

"I've seen you on the stamps and all the money, Sire," he said
"What really gives the game away's that crown there on your head.
I know you're not the same as me, you're quite the perfect toff
But if you're incognito, shouldn't you, like, take it off?"

Too late! The royal car pulled up and sixteen men jumped out
They gathered round the king and every one began to shout
"Thank goodness that we've found you! All the palace is a-riot!"
King Davey raised his hands and said, "For goodness' sake, be quiet"

He turned to Paul, "You've treated me with kindness and respect.
I just can't handle normal life. Well, what did I expect?
You're welcome at the Palace. Come and see where I belong.
I'll treat you to a slap-up meal. Bring all your friends along!"

The Palace is in uproar now, with children running free
They finger all the ornaments and drink the royal tea
They're teaching Davey football in a most un-regal way
He's learned to laugh, and needs a bath at least three times a day

He's jogging in a tracksuit, turning cartwheels on the lawn
He hasn't been so happy since the day that he was born
The old king would be horrified to see his eldest son
But Davey doesn't give a hoot. At last, he's having fun.

Will Hames
December 2008