Nonconformist Army

I'm a member of the Nonconformist Army
An offshoot from the League of Awkward Gits
We're united in our rancour
We're obstructive and cantankerous
Our uniform is anything that fits

I'm a member of the Nonconformist Army
Our enemy's the System, don't you know
Any member's charged with treason
If he stoops to rhyme and reason
And neglects to find a wobbly he can throw

I'm a member of the Nonconformist Army
We march away from any passing trend
Oh, how numerous this band is
But what I don't understand is
Why I haven't got one single bloody friend.

Will Hames

Words of Wisdom

My son, look on this hair of grey
Observe how wise I am today
And hear these words I speak to you
They rhyme, they scan: they must be true

Throughout the ages, thoughtful men
Discovered mighty truths and then
To help instruct their fellow man
They made them rhyme, they made them scan

As generations come and go
What everybody needs to know
Is formed to stand the test of time
See how it scans! Just hear it rhyme!

Yet evil men with ill intent
Mislead us and misrepresent
The painful truth I have to tell
For bullshit rhymes and scans as well.