Small Hairy Person

"You're a small, hairy person," said Mrs MacNee
"And I don't understand why you're bothering me
And I don't have the time to work out what you said
For I ought to be fixing the supper instead
Of just standing here wondering what I should do
With a troublesome, small, hairy person like you

"I was perfectly happy and doing quite well
'Til you knocked on my knocker and rang on my bell
Now I'm all of a dither, my mind's in a mess
And The Simpsons is on in five minutes or less
And the last thing I need is a bothersome caller...
F*** off, little man, and come back when you're taller!"

Will Hames
February 2010