Mysteries

I like a bit of mystery, so please don't try to spoil it
'Cos there's magic in what's hard to understand
Like, there's a funny stain down in the bottom of my toilet
And it looks just like the face of Russell Brand
At least, it looks like somebody whose face is quite familiar
And how it got there's really quite a puzzle
Of course, it could be Jesus, 'cos they do look rather similar
But seeing where it is, I'd plump for Russell

Abundant are my sources of confused misinformation
Although I've been assured that I'm not dense
And many the phenomena defying explanation
And lots of things just don't make any sense
There's errors in the world today that ought to be corrected
The scale of them is almost past believing
John Lennon and John Kennedy have still not resurrected
And John McCririck's still alive and breathing

Thank God we don't know everything, there's more to be uncovered
So we really have no cause for foolish pride
Let's raise a glass to Nessie, may she never be discovered
May she teach her little Nesslets how to hide
There's circles in the crops, I hear, and God knows how they got there
There's Bigfoot, and the UFOs are soaring
And sometimes you can see things that are definitely not there
Without them, wouldn't life be bloody boring?