Perhaps it doesn’t bother you, although it really should
There’s lots of words for what you do, and none of them are good
Now black’s a groovy colour and it doesn’t show the dirt
But even so I think you ought to change that stinky shirt
Oh, Smelly Nellie, I have tried to put this deli – cately
But it’s pretty clear the message isn’t getting through
Oh, Smelly Nellie, how I wish you were on telly, ‘cos
You turn me off, and I would like to do the same to you
Well, maybe you could take a bath or even have a shower
Your personal aroma’s getting riper by the hour
There’s stuff you buy in chemists that’ll make it go away
They sell it as a roll-on or a splash-on or a spray
Oh, Smelly Nellie, I have tried to put this deli – cately
But it’s pretty clear the message isn’t getting through
Oh, Smelly Nellie, how I wish you were on telly, ‘cos
You turn me off, and I would like to do the same to you
I know that you get dizzy when you’re standing near a sink
But water’s very useful, and it isn’t just a drink
Don’t worry if you wash your hair, it isn’t gonna frizz
The flies are buzzing overhead, now why d’you think that is?
Oh, Smelly Nellie, I have tried to put this deli – cately
But it’s pretty clear the message isn’t getting through
Oh, Smelly Nellie, how I wish you were on telly, ‘cos
You turn me off, and I would like to do the same to you
Will Hames
May 2009
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3 comments:
This is another absolute corker and I loved it. I'm so glad that I found your blog, simply by being nosy and looking through the followers of other people. My favourites are still Alexander the Panda, King Davey and Charlie. I'd love to see your work published - you really ought to submit something and see what happens - but please keep writing!
I love the bit about water not just being a drink! Classic!
I think most of us have met a smelly nellie - I found one at work once, and she had a builder's bum too. Perhaps you could write a builder's bum poem!?
When all else fails, send for 'Elf 'n Safety!!
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